譯者：異議
Whether we like it or not, human life is subject to the universal laws of physics.
不管我們願不願意，人的生命都是受物理定律支配的。
My day, for example, starts with a demonstration of Newton’s First Law of Motion.
比如，我的每一天都是從牛頓第一運動定律開始的。
↓ It states, “Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line…”
該定律指出：“正常情況下，身體會保持靜止狀態，或做勻速直線運動，…” ↓
↓ “…unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it.”
“…除非有外力加諸其上，迫使其改變狀態。” ↓
↓ Based on supercomplicated physical observations, Einstein concluded that two objects may perceive time differently.
基於超級複雜的物理研究，愛因斯坦得出結論，認為兩個不同物體對時間的感知可能有所不同。
Based on simple life experience, I have concluded that this is true.
基於生活的簡單經驗，我確定這理論是真的。 ↓
↓ Newton’s Cradle shows how energy travels through a series of objects.
牛頓擺試驗察看了能量是如何通過一家族物體來進行傳遞的。 ↓
↓ In our particular arrangement, kinetic energy is ultimately converted into a compression of the forehead.
在我們的精心編排下，動能最終轉化為我額頭上擠出來的皺紋。 ↓
↓ The forehead can be uncrumpled by a downward movement of the jaw.
通過下巴向下的運動，前額可以平復如初。 ↓
↓ Excessive mechanical strain will compromise the elasticity of most materials, though.
但過度的機械應力會損害大多數材料的彈性。 ↓
↓ The human body functions like a combustion engine. To produce energy, we need two things:
人體就像一台內燃機。為了產生能量，我們需要兩件東西：
– Oxygen, supplied through the nostrils (once the toy car is removed, that is).
- 氧氣，通過鼻孔提供（在沒有被玩具車堵住的時候）。
– Carbohydrates, which come in various forms (vanilla, chocolate, dulce de leche).
– 碳水化合物，以各種形式被攝取（香草口味，巧克力口味，法式口味）。
By the by: I had an idea for a carb-neutral ice cream.
OK，我想出了一個關於零增肥冰淇淋的主意。
All you need is to freeze a pint of ice cream to -3706 F.
你只需要把一品脫冰淇淋凍到零下3706華氏度。 ↓
The energy it will take your system to bring the ice cream up to a digestible temperature is roughly 1,000 calories, neatly burning away all those carbohydrates from the fat and sugar.
這樣一來，你把它回復到可吃的溫度所花費的能量，大約是1000卡路裡，正好可以抵消掉這些冰淇淋中的脂肪和糖所含的碳水化合物。 ↓
The only snag is the Third Law of Thermodynamics, which says it’s impossible to go below -459 F.
唯一的問題是，根據熱力學第三定律，溫度不可能低於零下459華氏度。 ↓
Bummer.
倒霉。
But back to Newton: he discovered that any two objects in the universe attract each other, and that this force is proportional to their mass.
還是回到牛頓吧：他發現，在宇宙中任何兩個物體都會相互吸引，而且這股引力和它們的品質成正比。
The Earth is heavier than the Moon, and therefore attracts our bodies with a much greater force.
地球比月亮更重，因此對我們身體的引力更大。 ↓
This explains why an empty refrigerator administrates a much smaller gravitational pull than, say, one that’s stacked with 50 pounds of delicious leftovers. Great: that means we can blame the leftovers.
這就解譯了為什麼一個空空如也的冰箱對我們的吸引力，遠遠小於裝着50磅美味剩菜的冰箱。妙啊：這意味着我們可以賴到剩飯剩菜頭上。 ↓
(Fig. A): Let’s examine the behavior of particles in a closed container.
（圖A）：讓我們來觀察一下粒子在封閉容器中的行為。 ↓
(Fig. B): The more particles we squeeze into the container, the testier they will become, especially if the container happens to be a rush-hour downtown local at 86th and Lex.
（圖B）：如果我們把更多的粒子擠入容器中，它們將變得易爆，特別是當這個容器正好是高峰期的下城86街和萊克星頓大道路口的那個地鐵站。↓
↓ (Fig. C): Usually the particles will distribute evenly, unless there is a weird-looking puddle on the floor.
（圖c）：通常粒子會分散均勻，除非地板上有一灘奇怪的的不明液體。
The probability of finding a seat on the subway is inversely proportional to the number of people on the platform. ↓
在地鐵上找到座位的概率，與站台上的人數成反比。 ↓
Even worse, the utter absence of people is 100 percent proportional to just having missed the train.
更糟的是，如果站台上完全沒有人，那麼你百分之百的是誤了剛開走的地鐵。 ↓
To describe different phenomena, physicists use various units.
為了說明不同的現象，物理學家使用不同的單位。
PASCALS, for example, measure the pressure applied to a certain area.
比如，帕斯卡是用來測量某處面積所受壓力的單位。 ↓（下圖左方）
COULOMBS measure electric charge (that can occur if said area is a synthetic carpet)
程式庫侖是測量靜電電荷的單位（如果前述面積是一塊合成纖維地毯的話，這種情況就有可能發生。） ↓ （下圖中間）
DECIBELS measure the intensity of the trouble the physicist gets into because he didn‘t take off his shoes first.
分貝是測量麻煩強度的單位，——如果本物理專家忘了脫鞋的話。 ↓（下圖右方）
Often those units are named after people to recognize historic contributions to their field of expertise. One NEWTON, for example, describes the force that is necessary to accelerate 1 kilogram of mass by one meter per second squared.
這些單位往往是用人的名字來命名，以紀念對該領域有歷史性貢獻的專家們。比如，一“牛頓”是使得一千克品質產生一米/秒平方的加速度所使用的力量。 ↓（下圖左方）
This is not to be confused with one NIEMANN, which describes the force necessary to make a three-year-old put on his shoes and jacket when we’re already late for kindergarten.
這可無法跟“牛曼”搞混：一“牛曼”指的是在已經誤了幼兒園的情況下，給一個三歲的孩子穿上鞋和外套所需要使用的力量。 ↓ （下圖右方）
Once the child is ready to go, I search for my keys. I start spinning around to scan my surroundings. This rotation exposes my head and all its contents to centrifugal forces, resulting in loss of hair and elongated eyeballs. That’s why I need to wear prescription glasses, which are yet another thing I constantly misplace.
一旦孩子準備好了，我就開始找鑰匙。我開始不停的打轉，四處察看。這種旋轉使我的頭及所有頭上物品受到離心力影響，造成脫髮和眼球拉長，從而使得我需要戴眼鏡，而那也是我經常找不到的一樣東西。 ↓
Since Antoine Lavoisier, we all know that “matter can be neither created nor destroyed, though it can be rearranged,” which, sadly, it eventually will.
從安托萬·拉瓦錫開始，我們都知道“物質既無法創造也無法消滅，但它可以重新排列”。可悲的是，它最終的確如此。↓
Not everything can be explained through physics, though. I’ve spent years searching for a rational explanation for the weight of my wife??s luggage. There is none. It is just a cruel joke of nature.
不過，也不是什麼都可以用物理來解譯。我花了多年時間為我妻子的行李重量搜尋合理的解譯。根本就沒有理由。這就是大自然開的一個殘忍玩笑。
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